Caught in the Rain
by PrincessIxi
Summary: Envy hates rain. To escape from it, he hides himself away. Along comes Alphonse. Problems issue


_Writing for Edward and Envy is always fun. Thought the ending didn't come easily _

_Does not own FMA_

* * *

Envy had been caught at the worse possible time.

It was a time most people are pretty familiar with. It's when the clouds say; _haha, take this, bitch! _And proceed to blacken and let loose a turret of rain. The homunculus was drenched from head to foot, which he hadn't thought possible as he wore practically nothing.

Envy looked spitefully up at the sky, cursing every single living creature on God's earth. In vengeance, the rain struck him a blow in the eye. Judging by how long it had taken him to get to this part of central by tram, it would take him about two hours by foot to get back to Headquarters.

But that was okay, Envy wasn't stupid. There was always _another_ way out. From the small alcove he was taking refuge under, he spied a hopeful looking trash can on the other side of the street. Perfect.

Using the strange red energy of the Philosopher's Stone, Envy expertly moulded his body in a vessel of a small black kitten. Envy didn't particularly enjoy using animal forms, their eyes were too weak, he got easily distracted by their high sense of smell, and their small body mass was completely different from humans. The only good thing was that people tended to not notice if you're a helpless kitten or puppy and would leave you alone.

Envy pelted across the street, his fluffy fur plastered to his sides. With a great leap, he landed snuggly inside the upturned trash can. He wriggled his nose in discomfort- yuck, it smelt to high heavens. His right paw had landed in something sticky, and his tail was in egg yoke. Envy shifted away from the worst of the garbage, and settled himself at the can entrance, watching the rain.

He didn't need to sleep. The Stone kept his body healthy, so there was no need for it. Human's only slept to get rid of unwanted toxins, which his body didn't produce. Or maybe it did, and the Stone just kept regenerating his body to stop them. He neither knew, nor cared much.

Envy sighed, already bored. He really hated the rai-

Clank clank clank

Something was coming out of the downpour. It was big, bulky, and making one hell of a racket. Envy poked a curious nose out of the trash can, raindrops pattering down onto his whiskers. Of course. It was one of the Elrics. Envy relaxed back down; sure that the huge metal body wouldn't spot him.

Well today the weather didn't like Envy, and neither did fate.

The metal body was walking towards him. Envy sat bolt up, flicking his ears back. Did the kid have an in built kitty-radar? Envy thought sourly, backing up. When the clanking stopped, Envy gave a silent pray, hoping he'd bypassed him. Cautiously, he stepped one paw out. And a hand descended down.

Envy screeched in alarm, and the next thing he knew he was being tossed inside the boy's body. He hit the metal floor with a wet smacking noise. Slightly dazed, Envy blinked and looked around. His tail was on a stack of books. Apart from them, the shell was empty. The rain was pelting off the armoured body, making his ears smart. It smelt of blood inside the armour.

Was this fraternising?

Envy hoped not, because they were strictly forbidden to not interact with the Elrics, unless ordered, or it was necessary. Did being a cat count? Envy pawed up the boy's insides, the thudding echoing dimly around him. Should he transform back to his normal form? That seemed too risky. He would just have to sit it out, and wait for a chance for freedom.

Shafts of bright light illuminated the inside of his new prison. He distantly heard a door open. "Nii-san, I'm back. It started to rain."

"Already? It's only three," was that Fullmetal? Envy perked up, deciding that the older would be his ticket out. He opened his small mouth, and wailed loudly, trying to sound as piteous as possible. "Al… there better not be a cat in there."

"Oh, nii-san, _please_. I couldn't leave him."

"Al. If you 'couldn't leave' any animal you found at there, then we'd have an animal farm on our hands."

"Ed, you're so callous!"

Don't _argue_. Envy thought in frustration. I want _out_. "Fine. Open up and let's see 'em."

"No way! You'll just throw him back out," Alphonse shot back.

"I swear I won't. Not until I see him and make up my mind."

Something clicked twice just above Envy's ears, and a panel of Alphonse's armour fell away, letting in the room's bright yellow light. He flinched and screwed his eyes up. He felt small hands around his upper body, and he swooped into the air as Edward picked him up to inspect him.

"Isn't he cute?"

Cute! Envy did his best to scowl at Edward, wriggling in his grip. Oh the humiliation! Thank God Lust wasn't hear to rub it in later. He should have given his cat shell rabies or something. "How old do you think he is? I hope you didn't take him awake from a litter or anything."

"What! I-I didn't hear any others," Alphonse said, sounding worried.

"Huh," Edward grunted, peering closely at Envy's face. "He's sure got weird coloured eyes. I've never seen a kitten with purple- OW!"

Before Edward could finish, Envy bit him on the nose. Edward dropped him like he was a live worm, and Envy shot for the door. That was to close. His concentration must have been slipping for his true eye colours to show through. Nevermind. He was almost to free-

WHACK!

Envy collided full force into the closed door, yowling loudly and staggering to his knees. "Nii-san!" Alphonse accused, as Edward held his throbbing nose, glaring with watering eyes.

"I didn't do anything!" Edward said irritable. "That little monster tried to take my nose off."

"Oh, stop being so dramatic," Alphonse huffed, gently picking up the dazed Envy. Envy flopped over Alphonse's great mitts, feeling light headed and seeing multicoloured spots and sparkles. "Are you okay, little kittie?" he asked softly, stroking Envy's head.

"What about your dear older brother?" Edward asked, with a bite of jealousy.

Alphonse just shook his head. "Nii-san, go sit down. I'll make some coffee. Oh. And here, I got out some more books while I was away," he added, reaching into his cavernous belly and extracting three thick books. He placed them on a desk that took up three quarters of the room, which was covered in even more books and hundreds of bits of paper.

He then put Envy down on top of the rented books. "Don't try anything," he warned, and straightening up. "Want me to make you anything?" he added, heading for the small kitchen.

"Nah, I'm good. You might wanna give this little guy something though."

"Wait. So I can keep him?" Alphonse asked, voice brightening.

"For a few days," Edward stressed himself, flopping down into the desk chair, picking up a fresh document. "But I suppose it'll be nice to have something non-communicative in the room for a while."

Alphonse whooped, then excused himself. Edward shook his head and grinned slightly.

Feeling that his body could support it self now, Envy sat up, curling his tail around his paws. He watched Edward intently. He seemed to be researching something. What it was, he had no idea. The books he was sitting on were leather bound, old and dusty. Edward shooed him off one, and began to flick through it, pencil in mouth, his other hand busy trying to search for a fresh piece of paper.

Envy prowled around the table, glancing boredly at the notes. Edward's hand writing was impossible to decipher. It was one large scrawl. He spotted a few transmutation circles, other diagrams, important information written in red, ink spills, ooh and a piece of lint, a…_ a drawing of himself _. Envy caught himself just in time from opening his mouth in shock. He padded over to the doodle, and peered at it. Yup. It was him. Albeit badly drawn, but it had the same hair and symbols.

Eagerly, Envy used his clumsily paws to shift the drawing aside. Here was another. This time of Lust.

Before he could start reading, Envy was picked up. "Not for cats," Edward told him, and plopped him back on the books. "I don't want you messing everything up."

Envy rolled his eyes, and huffed. How would he be messing anything up, it was already a nightmare of a higgledee piggledee mess? Edward caught the action, and gave his chest a sharp poke with his pencil. "Don't give me that look."

Edward buried himself once more. Je-_sus._ Envy couldn't see how the little brat could do it. It looked so tedious. Envy frowned, as Edward jotted something down. No wonder the kid was sour. He didn't do anything _fun._

With a leap, Envy pounced on Edward's moving hand. Edward jerked backwards with a gasp of surprise. "Hey!" Smugly, Envy took the loose pencil out of Edward's slackened grip, and bounded away. _Come on, FullMetal. Let's see you let loose a little! _

Edward got up, circling the table, eyes trained on the pencil. Envy interpreted his lunge, and bounced out of the way in the nick of time. Edward landed on the table, scattering paper. "You're gonna regret that," Edward said, lunging again, this time skidding right off the table, and onto the floor.

Envy laughed himself silly ( inside his head ), and pranced around Edward's head.

The blonde's arm shot out, knocking Envy off his feet. He dropped the pencil. Edward snatched it up, grinning. "If I didn't know any better. I'd say you did that on purpose," Edward hummed, giving Envy a small flick on the nose.

All to soon, the pattern repeated. Envy growled inside, watching Edward's pencil bob to and fro. He bounded off the books, and went right up to Edward's face. "Go away," Edward said, this time a little more forcefully. Ignoring the command, Envy pawed at his cheeks. Edward quickly lifted his face free of the flailing paws. This time, Edward physically pushed him away. Meowing impatiently, Envy tried again. "What's you're problem? Out!"

Envy swatted him on the nose, then skittered away before Edward could hit him. He stuck his tail moodily into the air. Once he was far enough away, he waited until Edward put his head back down.

"You can be such a jerk, you know?"

Edward jolted, looking up for the source of the voice. He glanced at Envy, who smiled back sweetly. "Did you just-"

"Nii-san, here," Edward jumped again as Alphonse put down his cup. "What?"

"Eh… nothing. I must be working too hard. Maybe I should take a break."

"That's great. You can help me with some sewing then," Alphonse said, glad that his brother was finally going to have a breather from all that study. He'd been at it for nearly thirteen hours.

"Sewing?"

"Hm. A few things got torn in your last fight. If someone doesn't do it, it'll never get done," Envy followed the brothers into the small bedroom, listening to them chattering away. Alphonse pulled out a few articles of clothing, handing them to Edward. "Here."

"What about you?"

"I have my share. We might need to buy some leather also. The suitcases are getting really worn. This one has a hole already," "he younger added, pulling up a blue box, that rattled as he put it on the single bed.

Envy made himself comfortable on Edward's bed, pulling up his legs and tail. He droopily watched them, as they mended Edward's shredded jackets and tops. He caught a few snippets of conversation as his mind wondered all over the place. Ugh. Was this what the two brother's did all day? He thought absently, methodically counting the stitching in Edward's bed spread. Lame.

Suddenly, he was being pitched into the air. He opened his mouth and meowed indignantly. "We'll he's not staying in here," Edward was saying, giving Envy a shake.

"If he stays in the main room, he could escape," Alphonse reasoned, his arms folded over his great chest.

"Al," Edward deadpanned, as he opened the bedroom door. "This is a cat we're talking about, yes? Animal's don't belong in the bedroom, and that's final."

"Nii-san!" Alphonse said, putting on his most wheedling voice. It didn't word as well as he'd hoped, as he was still a hunk of metal. Edward was silently glad, as it was very hard to say no to a pouting Alphonse.

"No way. He'll get fleas everywhere. You don't know where he's been!"

Oh, you'll get more than fleas once I'm through with you, buddy, Envy thought sourly, stomach churning as Edward squeezed his chest tighter.

"Please!"

"No!"

"Please!"

"NO!- Ouch!"

Having quite enough, Envy struck out with extended claws, making Edward's hand bleed. He was dropped at once. He raced back over to Alphonse, leaped up onto the bed, and sat smugly down.

"Damn furball," Edward said, licking up the swelling blood, and glaring nastily at Envy.

* * *

Envy wasn't sure if Alphonse could sleep.

Once Edward had dropped off, he watched Alphonse from his curled up position at the foot of the second bed. The red light admitting from the armoured face plate had dimmed, so maybe he was asleep?

Finally his chance for escape!

He slithered quietly off the bed, and crept over to Edward's. He had the bed beside the window. One more jump, and he was out of here. He picked his way over Edward's sprawled legs, and sniffed at the window. It had one of those catches for locks. He gingerly pawed at it, deciding not to risk changing back to human form. It came away with a sharp click.

Envy froze at the loud sound. Oh crap.

The grating behind him told him that Alphonse had moved slightly. "Where do you think you're going?"

Envy flattened his ears, and grumpily left the lock along, slinking under Edward's covers to hide himself for the rest of the night.

* * *

He emerged when Alphonse got up. He followed him around the main room, as he picked up a small bag. "Listen kitten," he said, bending down to speak with Envy. "Edward won't wake till about noon, so you have the whole of the apartment to yourself. Don't run away, and I'll bring you back something-"

Whip-de-do.

"- and what ever you do, don't touch that table either. I'll be back after lunch, alright?"

After the instructions, Alphonse fended Envy off when he tried to squeeze through the door, and heard it lock behind himself. Envy slouched around the room a few times. At least now he could get out of here. If what the kid had said was true, then Edward would be out like a light till mid morning.

Curiously, Envy jumped onto the table that held all of Edward's research. Free to read, Envy cocked his head to read some of the book's spines. _A History of the World. Modern Philosophy. The Theory of Alchemy. The Secrets behind Kissing my Ass. _

Envy sighed, sat down, and pawed over the notes. Good Lord. How could he read his own writing? Giving up, Envy jumped down. He peered round the bedroom door, to the snoozing Edward.

Hm.

He couldn't help himself. When else would he get the chance to mess with the Elrics?

He padded over to the bed, leaping up and onto Edward's pillow. He gave Edward's nose a hard bat. No response. He butted his head on Edward's skull. Not even a flicker of an eye lid. Quickly getting fed up ( Envy's patience was wearing very thin these days ) he changed back into his human form. It would only take a second, and none would be the wiser.

He grabbed a fist full of Edward's blonde hair, and pulled it up; forcing Edward's body forward, and yelled loudly. "Get up you obnoxious little runt!"

That got Edward moving. With expert speed, Envy was back into his kitten body, before Edward could look around. When he spotted Envy, he purred innocently and smooched against Edward's chest, silently vomiting inside his head.

"That must have been a dream. I could have sworn-" Edward said rather absently, giving Envy's a stroke on the head. He must be out of it, cos FullMetal wasn't this warm to me yesterday Envy thought, as Edward tickled him behind the ears. He mental hit himself when the kitten body reacted to all the attention. Yet another thing he hated about animals. The ridiculous need for petting and human affection.

Envy wrenched his head away from Edward's hand, and bounced on his pillow, meowing loudly. Okay, animals have to eat, Envy remembered, a function his body didn't technically need, though sometimes he ate just for the finer things in life.

"What?" Edward asked, swinging his automail arm over his head as he stretched and yawned. Envy frowned, meowing urgently. Figure it out, stupid! He leaped down from the bed, bouncing near the door.

Edward followed him, as Envy led him to the kitchen. He stopped at the fridge. "Oh. Let's see what we have then. We've never kept animal's before."

As Edward rummaged in the fridge, Envy aimed for the cupboards. He gave his useless cat's legs an extra push, and he sprang on to the kitchen bench. He quickly found what he was looking for. Sugar, baking powder, flour. And hey, good little bro had even left out some milk on the bench. With a well aimed kick, each item when flying. The small bags of dry ingredient exploded ( thanks to a few scratches on his behalf ) as they hit the tiled floor. And the milk spilt all over them, making them sticky and wet.

Envy had to jump out of the way when Edward threw an egg at him. To say he was mad was a small understatement. "You're dead, cat," Edward seemed to misjudge his step though. The milk had spread a little too far, and he was still numb with sleep. He skidded, and crashed to the ground, covering his top half in flour, baking soda and sugar.

The homunculus had to control himself to not start laughing out loud. He jumped back to earth, sniffing at Edward's head. He wondered if now was the best time to make a break for it. Before he could make up his mind, something landed on his back. Edward had scooped up a handful of the mess, and dumped it on his fur.

"Oops," Edward said sarcastically, grabbing Envy by the scruff before he could dash off. "Guess I'll have to clean us both now, huh?"

The clothes Edward had been wearing to be were now ruined. It was only a tank top and boxers, but still. So he didn't both to take them off when he ran a bath ( they were lucky they had one in the renter room ) because they needed a good soak as much as the rest of him.

"No use glowering at me like that," Edward said, as Envy peered up at him through a thick forest of bubbles. He had filled the bath to the brim, wanting to get the stuff off as soon as possible.

Edward muttered angrily to himself as he scrubbed at his flesh arm, then having to use his fingers to get the fine sugar off his skin. Which was hard as his metal fingers couldn't feel where the sugar grains were.

Envy considered changing back in the bath, just so he could see the brats' face. It would be priceless. This idea became more and more plausible each time he was dunked under the water. He finally gave Edward another scratch to show his true feelings.

With a hiss, Envy hopped up onto the bath ledge, shaking his fur free of water droplets. His fur felt heavy with flour and itchy with sugar. Perched there, he started to lick his fur, deciding that after this he'd wash his tongue about fifty times to compensate.

Edward staid put until the water went icy, and he was shivering all over.

Envy tartly ignored his struggles, almost done with his grooming. There was just one spot on the tip of his tail he couldn't get rid of. Edward has an equal problem. Of course his hair was much longer than Envy's short fluffy kitten fur. And he had one fake arm, which couldn't feel where the stuff was in the first place.

The alchemist glared when Envy stopped in his gnawing of his tail. His lips were literally blue. Envy sighed, swishing his tail behind his body, and jumped down to the floor. Human's were useless. If he took his clothes off, then the cold wouldn't get to him so much.

There was a clatter from outside, and a small cry of alarm. "What happened to my kitchen!"

Envy couldn't help smirking. Poor kid sounded like a housewife.

Alphonse slammed his way into the bathroom, taking in a drenched Edward and purring Envy. "Nii-san what. What on earth- what's going on here!?"

"I thought it would be great if I took bath at one o'clock in the afternoon."

"Don't get smart with me, mister," Alphonse threatened, finally approaching Edward. "Aw man. You're all blue and- why on earth are you still in your clothes?"

"Cause they got ruined as well. Thanks to our furry chum over there," Edward grumbled, letting Alphonse hoist him back up into a sitting position, and turning the taps on to luke warm. Envy meowed innocently.

"Let's get you warmed up again," Alphonse said gently.

"It's still in my hair though," Edward said in a paranoid voice, as his brother washed the warming water back up his arms and chest. "And your hands are colder than the water."

"Can I do anything right?" Alphonse sighed echoingly. "By the way, they say it's gonna clear up tonight."

"So?" Edward said grumpily, not catching on.

"So," Alphonse said slowly, thinking carefully over his words before speaking. "That means… I guess. You can take the kitten back."

"Oh," obviously not expecting his little brother to give in so easily. "Okay then."

Silently, Envy was doing the can-can inside his head, thanking the Gods he wouldn't have to manually escape after all.

Who ever had told Alphonse it wouldn't be raining that evening… Envy swore he would be gnawing their knee caps off. Unfortunately Edward was eager to be rid of 'that little monster' as soon as possible.

Envy was tucked safely under Edward's arm, furry face peering out tentatively. Edward was taking him as far away from their apartment as possible, at the same time looking for a safe place to deposit him.

The Alchemist finally decided that the wet street would be his best bet, and he gently placed Envy down, getting drenched at once.

"Well," Edward said, putting his hands on his hips and looking down at him. "It's been fun I guess. Don't come again. Laters," he grinned, waving as he turned around.

It was now, Envy thought, frowning as he tossed a dice to the Gods. Before Edward could get too far out of his sight, Envy called after him.

"Oh, little Alchemist-san!"

He visible saw Edward's figure stop dead, more out of shock than the jibe. Teasingly, he let the cat ears and tail linger, just to show Edward that 'yes, you harboured a homunculus for a day and night under your nose. Haha.'

Edward tried to speak, but only managed a spluttering sound. Envy made up for it, striding over to the boy, back in his preferred form. He tossed his long dark hair back over his shoulder, feeling wetter than ever. "Oh no, don't speak please. I know how hard this must be for you," Envy laughed, a grin stretching over his face. Edward felt colouring rising in his face, feeling a mixture of anger and humiliation of letting the enemy slithering into his personal life so easily.

"You _used _my brother-"

"Oh please!" Envy snapped, loosing his grin. "If your darling brother wasn't so infatuated with cats, I wouldn't be in this fix. Now if you please, I'll be going- my hairs an absolute nightmare."

"Wait, is that all you have to say for yourself?" Edward sneered, once the sin's back was turned.

"Actually- one would think you'd have enough grace to _put me in a drier spot next time_!"

"Well _excuse me _for not considering you're feelings- oh wait, you have none," Edward yelled back, both boys voice growing louder at each insult.

"Oh burn," Envy stuck his tongue out, indicating the conversation was over.

Leaving the boy to fume away, and reach his own conclusions, Envy vaulted the nearest brick wall, wondering vaguely why he even bothered sometimes. He set his face skywards, trying to judge by the blackness how long this downpour would last. Maybe this time he'd turn into a dog…?

* * *

END


End file.
